Beginning of an End
by talking-eye
Summary: Sequel to End of a Beginning Which is inprogress. Post BANG proposal. Cristina and Burke. A leap into the new phase. Please R
1. Not Ready

A/N: This will probably be more than a one-shot. It has a lot of angst at the beginning, but again I'm trying to build it up. My other fic, End of a Beginning, is not over yet, and I am hoping to tie that in with this one later. So this is like the sequel. Depending on how the show goes, this could end up being a happy story.

Ch. 1

_Had they made it? Had they really made it to the new phase?_ Cristina never thought it would happen to her, becoming something more than Cristina Yang.

Gone was the silence, so too should the frown.

_Right._ She was supposed to be putting on her most glamorous smile, dancing in the apartment, passing passionate kisses.

_Marry Me._ Those two words were so big that they should flood the house and overthrow all the terrible feelings locked up in her body.

_Yes._ That was the only word that the room could accommodate. That was the only thing she ought to say.

_But she couldn't._

Tears still streaming down her cheeks, her heart ached as much as her eyes. The turbulence inside her was so great that she felt like she was being strangled—not by the tremendous love, but the fear.

The yearning in his eyes was like a feisty beast that needed to be tamed. _What if she took it seriously and to him it was just another game?_

Burke could be mad at her. He could have challenged what she said or did. He could have ignored her. Instead, he was rushing her again.

Just when they were drawn back together a step closer, he was giving her such a forceful push that she felt like she'd being shoved off the chair.

The tears were like kerosene. The longer they soaked through her face, the more intense the flames of desire in Burke's eyes boiled.

_Why hadn't anyone ever told her how frightening love could be?_

She knew it was love. No question about that. What she couldn't tell was what would happen after that.

She was asking for forgiveness. He was demanding commitment. _Could a castle be built when the shaken ground had not been fixed?_

Averting her gaze to the table, Cristina threw one of her hands to the back of the chair, ready to support herself to excuse herself from the table—if only there wasn't another hand reaching forward to stop it.

_She couldn't bear the consequence of saying no, nor could she utter a yes without doubting her decision._

Feeling the heat under skin, Cristina was sobbing on his chest as he gently combed her messy curls with his long and god-like fingers. As his fingers swiftly caught the hand that was stubbornly hidden behind Cristina's waist, Burke slipped something into it.

Chill passed through her body like an electrical current, as the metal piece brushed across the tip of her fingers. _Couldn't he ever learn the meaning of one step at a time?_

The rock didn't sit well in her trembling fist. As much as she feared it, she had to break from Burke's embrace to figure out how big a deal it was.

Shifting it under the light, Cristina gasped at the shiny loop as her tears receded.

_The ring was flawless, but she wasn't._ The sense that she was defective, that there was something bad about her, that she was worthless, was overwhelming.

_By breaking the silence, Burke had only made it bigger and deeper, like a wound awaiting to be healed._

Too many thoughts were attacking her weakened body, too many things were there for her to say.

She loved her man, she really did.

_But she wasn't ready._

She couldn't believe she could give him what he wanted. She couldn't trust that she wouldn't disappoint him again. She had done too many horrible things, even if nobody said so directly in her face.

_Burke had already won the game, why couldn't he wait and let her win this time?_

_An answer had to be given, a promise had to be made._

Cristina knew it, but she couldn't do it.

Staring at him, begging in silence he could give her more time, Cristina grabbed his arms and pulled him closer. The heart beating inside him was as wild as the one she owned.

_Her life had been a huge chaos,  
A rock was what she needed.  
Not one that's made of diamond,  
but one of flesh and blood.  
Firm yet soothing to hold on to,  
but not a tornado of love;  
For she knew when two tornados came together,  
they would just blow off the roof.  
So before those foolish hearts calmed down at last,  
Cristina would not move._

She could not move.


	2. The Nod

**Ch.2  
**At first, Burke wasn't sure where to place his hands as Cristina's tears kept soaking through his shirt. The vulnerability in the delicate figure pressed against him was as shocking as an earthquake.

Raising one hand over the back of her head, Burke hesitated for a moment, before resuming his reassuring stroke on her messy curls.

Gradually, the two hearts became attuned to its partner, as if they were beating inside one another.

_As long as there was enough time, even the roughest ocean would have its day of serenity._

Running his fingers over Cristina's forehead to ease the frown on her face, Burke put a million words into his unyielding gaze. He was expecting an answer; one word would be good.

As the awkward silence dragged on, Burke began to question his action. _Should he push harder, or should he take a step back?_

Cristina confused him. She was very composed. There were no more tears and no apparent fear. What Burke wasn't aware was that what he mistook for calmness was really fright. The fright of someone who was too madly in love without knowing.

Patience used to be Burke's expertise, but when it came to something he so desperately needed, it was hard for him not to be anxious.

The hand of the clock was moving in slow motion, while Burke's hands began to fidget in agitation.

Out of nowhere, Cristina suddenly stopped staring at him and nodded her head.

The subtleness of the gesture could not conceal the magnificence of the meaning. Neither could Burke move nor smile, no matter how excited he was.

_It was simply too perfect, too good to be true._

All his life, Burke had been a rigid follower of perfectly laid-out plans. Marriage had always been at the back of his mind, but the lack of resistance from Cristina was mesmerizing, like the ring he purchased long ago.

_Who knew it would be so simple?_

Digging into Cristina's tiny hand, Burke retrieved the treasure.

Beauty had to be made known to the world, but the dazzling diamond paled out once it was bestowed upon the most beautiful woman in Burke's universe.

Without further delay, Burke skillfully slid the platinum loop onto Cristina's long and refined finger.

_Everything was perfect, if only she could smile._

Looking down at the ring without changing her demeanor, Cristina caressed it with caution, like a little girl who was patting her puppy for the first time.

Refusing Cristina a chance to take back her promise, Burke wrapped his hands around her pale and fear-stricken hand.

Shifting between the shimmer on the ring and in Burke's soulful eyes, Cristina finally gave in and made a very faint smile.

_A single match could not burn down the entire ice-cap, but its impact was not to be dismissed._

A tiny little smile and a gentle nod alone not only created the happiest man on earth, but also gave Burke the strength to lift his prized woman off the ground and delivered her onto their most spacious bed.

Cristina sat in the middle, poised as a maiden sent down from heaven. Grabbing Burke's hands gently, Cristina brought it up to her cheek.

Standing right beside her, Burke was like her finest armor. Time was lost in them. They were lost in time. Everything was still and distilled. Paused.

Of course, sometimes inaction was only a prelude to more powerful action.

Soon, there would be no more silence.


	3. Time Limit

**Ch.3  
**_Time was a fluid concept, bounded by the little hands on the clock, and the human mind._

One minute the ring was on Cristina's finger, the next minute nobody knew where it went. One day Cristina's life was full of nightmares and drama, the next day it seemed like bad things had never occurred.

_How much time had passed since the first time Burke tossed her in the air when she showed him her messy apartment? How many nights had they spent celebrating the ritual of love together, with their hands weaved tightly into each other?_

Never had Cristina imagined their fingers would still be intertwined each morning when she was up. Never would she have believed that would bring a smile to her face more effortlessly than her morning coffee.

For better or worse, a lot of things had changed, but the grip was always unyielding, and only a surgeon as skillful as Cristina could disentangle her fingers one by one, without waking up her man.

Doing that was never easy, for nothing felt safer than having her hand held by Burke. _How many years had passed, since there was someone to hold her hand and rescue her from the monsters hiding beneath the curtains and the bottom of her bed?_

Tucking Burke's hand under the blanket, Cristina kissed him on his forehead, not wanting to leave the room.

_It must have been hard, for her daddy to remove his hand from hers back when she was his one and only baby girl._

Eight days wouldn't have changed a person, but eight months together might. With Burke, there was never a need to count the days, but Cristina's cheeks grew warm as she starred at the shiny piece resting impatiently in the blue coffee mug.

Every morning she took it out and placed it under the light, hoping it would enlighten and guide her to the next step Burke was hoping for. Before Burke ever saw her, Cristina would always drop it back into her pocket.

Sometimes Cristina wished her head didn't betray her eight nights ago, for that one fine nod carried with it more promise than her 3-carat ring.

As Burke entered the kitchen space, all her worries were temporarily swept away. All he did was to cuddle her from the back, without noticing the blank spot on her finger.

Cristina's heart was not as heavy as the ring, but before she actually said _yes_, she felt like a living contract without a paperweight on top, lying on the desk complacently when all were calm, and ready to take off once the wind started blowing.

_What would it take to steady herself, to become the woman Burke was looking for?_

Getting ready to go to work, Cristina let her eyes be fixated on the kitchen sink.

_Why couldn't she clear her doubt the way she rinsed her plate?_

The patience in Burke had become so apparent that it nearly made Cristina guilty.

The man made her comfortable, he had made everything great, but deep inside there was a little voice, telling Cristina she wasn't ready.

_If only there could be someone to talk to. If only her daddy was around._

Snatching her travel mug off the counter top, Cristina stood on tiptoe and gave Burke a quick but dynamic hug. That was the least she could do to stop him from staring at her, eagerly waiting for a more tangible answer.

When the clock hit five-twenty-four, Cristina knew she would be late.

Here was a man who's worth being late for, and there a woman taught to do the right thing at the right time.

_The right thing had found her; it was the right time she hadn't found._

From the apartment to Seattle Grace, their 6-second kiss that smelled like coffee lingered on Cristina's lips.

The boundary of distance had been broken, as was the rule of the clock. Time had become relative when it was consumed by love.

_Maybe she would say yes today._  



	4. Winning

**Ch. 4  
**Winning used to mean everything to Burke. Nothing was better than being sharp and fast, always glowing in triumph, distinguishing himself from his peers.

But when George O'Malley beat him to be the first one to tie the knot, Burke was surprised to find himself feeling relieved that his race with Cristina was still going on.

Winning wasn't an end point, it was a process. If the prize came that quickly, the race would lose its charm. An answer would be perfect, a ring on Cristina's finger would bring sweat to his palms. But aside from subtly reminding her to make a concrete decision, Burke knew there was nothing more he could do.

When Cristina showed up with a girlish grin, Burke couldn't help but furrowed his brows.

_If she thought she could lure him into letting her scrub in, he would be more than ready to prove otherwise._

The absence of the ring on Cristina's hand wasn't a very good sign and it bothered him every time she evaded the question. But the excitement in Cristina's voice about George and Callie's marriage was so contagious that Burke couldn't suppress his lips from forming an upward curve.

When Cristina commented that a smart couple should never rush to get married without spending time to know each other well enough, Burke's faint smile transformed into a grin.

_Did she just call themselves the smart couple? Maybe Cristina was really considering the proposal thoroughly? Now, that was a good sign._

Not giving Cristina a chance to scrub in on his surgery did not deter her from making his favoritism towards her sound infallible. At the same time, her slippery response about the ring and the proposal did not shaken the confidence fueling Burke's every move.

The ugliest loss was one that he envisioned to win, but the longer he looked into Cristina's mischievous face, the bigger the bet Burke desired to place on their relationship.

_If Ellis Grey could come into Seattle Grace talking like a surgeon again, certainly anything good could happen to all of them._

There wasn't a need to hurry, for Burke already knew he would win—both in the game of love, and in the race to be the Chief.

Adjusting his scrubs cap at a leisurely pace, Burke examined the board with Derek Sheppard beside him, both thinking about their own lady.

They crossed their arms in synchrony and stole a glance at each other with a competitive smirk. One of them would be in charge one day, what they needed was a chance to show their talents.

What didn't clearly register in their heads was that when they asked for something, it wouldn't always be as great as they expected.

The shattered scream of Nurse Debbie not only drew blood off their faces, but also set their legs in motion.  
As comfortable and composed as he tried to display, Burke's fingers were glued together as he put on the mask.

As surgeon, it was his duty to step up. When it came to actual practice, Burke could feel the tremble in his legs.

A commitment to plunge into the fullness of life with someone else was as big as a commitment as risking one's life for the safety of others.

_Things always seemed so simple when it happened to somebody else. Most people have forgotten about the struggle floating in their heads before a commitment was made._

After counting to 10 to sooth himself, Burke pushed through the door to the OR with Derek Sheppard, their eyes burning with flames of determination.

_They'd better win this race. Burke still had another one to win._  



	5. Wisdom

**Ch.5  
**Wisdom often buried itself in the most unlikely place.

Standing face-to-face with Meredith's mother, the patient's chart Cristina held tightly to her chest was too small to conceal her reservation.

She was a mother, who made her best friend miserable; she was a surgeon, who could no longer cut.

The eyes of Ellis Grey were lucid and fierce, but they were quickly overcast by the gloom and confusion on her wrinkled face.

Her tongue was sharp like a blade but in Cristina, Ellis had found the best companion.

_Did mothers always only get disappointed with their own daughters? If only Cristina's own mother had had half as big an interest in her career aspiration as Meredith's mother did._

Just as Cristina thought the perceptive eyes of Ellis Grey would pierce through her, she was reassured by how fitting the descriptions of a cardiothoracic surgeon seem.

Petite as they were, the two brightest female surgeons Seattle Grace had ever harbored were rapidly filling up the entire room with a pride in what they were, and a fear of what they might become.

Her hand still resting on Ellis' carotid artery, Cristina's fingers went soft.

Here was a magnificent woman who was at the top of the world, someone Cristina aspired to become. _But if Ellis had known she would lose it all in the end, would she have made a different choice?_

Bailey fell off the track when she became a mother. Ellis stayed focused but almost lost her daughter. Cristina's own mother wasn't even a surgeon, and still she never won her daughter's heart.

Cristina Yang was destined to be the definition of the most talented female surgeon of her era, just like Ellis Grey.

_If everybody had failed the challenge of marriage and motherhood, how could Cristina allow herself to fall prey to that?_

Lifting her hand off Ellis' neck, Cristina acknowledged the eerie connection they shared while distancing herself from a life of misery.

Eight days since the proposal and finally Cristina got the answer from a woman who had lost five years.

_Nobody could have it all, but if she tried harder, maybe it would work._

Coldness reoccupied Ellis' eyes like her last defense, but under that overbearing façade was a woman who was going to crumble.

Tenderness wasn't always in her element and surely it didn't have to be reciprocated, as long as it could be felt.

_Cristina couldn't handle mothers, nor could mothers bear with her._

But Ellis Grey was different, for she was more than a mother. In her was a woman whose intellect was being eaten away but whose wisdom hadn't subsided.

Whatever she didn't get from her own mother, she got it from Ellis Grey.

Squeezing the wise woman's hand in gratitude before fleeing the shock on her face, Cristina's heart swelled in joy as she leaped out to head for the OR.

_It was about time._  



	6. The Hero

**Ch.6  
**Nobody deliberately wanted to be a hero, but sometimes life didn't allow one to choose.

Twitching and perspiring uncontrollably under the hazard control helmet, Burke knew he was about to faint. The moment his left side hit the ground, everything blacked out.

In the land of fairies and elves, Burke felt the loving strokes of the morning breeze and the sweetness of a familiar scent swirling in the air. The dream was colorful and calming, but it didn't stop him from stretching his arm to catch the faceless mist that was singing praises to him as a hero.

The next minute Burke was on his feet again, he squint his eyes in search of the angel. All he found was the other two Attendings, teasing him behind their oxygen masks about how he had just been pampered like a baby but crowned as a hero.

_The only time when Cristina was so affectionate in public was the time Burke actually missed! Hero or not, he couldn't help but shook his head in proud disbelief._

Lying on the side of his back with his hand still clinging on the mask, Burke wished Cristina had stayed longer. If that's what she called sticking, it surely wasn't long enough.

Still recuperating from the deprivation of oxygen, the three Attendings each looked around. Addison knew Alex's whereabouts, but Derek and Burke were being kept in the dark.

Once the brain was filled with oxygen again, their logic also resumed. _Where would they be, apart from that most toxic room?_

The realization hit them and off the gurney they jumped. Burke didn't ask Cristina to be a hero, he only wanted her to be his wife.

Limping through the hallway to the OR, the only thought that was repeating in his head was the safety of his woman.

However tremendous was Cristina's trust in him, Burke was not ready to dismiss the wickedness of life.

_She was an independent and competent woman, but he didn't want her to risk her life._

He was foolish enough to have gone into the room and there needn't be another foolish soul to follow his footsteps.

Ready to kick open the door to question Richard's decision and pull Cristina out of the plight, Burke was stopped by a hand over his shoulder, which brought him back to the world of reason.

Cristina Yang came to learn to be a surgeon, and that's who she'd become.

_If he was so determined to get her to open up, how then could he deter her from showing her selfless love? If he really wanted to win Cristina's heart, Burke would have to let her be who she was. _

Despite all the reasoning going on in his head, Burke couldn't stop his feet from pacing back and forth. The sense of helplessness overwhelmed him as he prayed for the safe return of Cristina.

_Nothing would matter, as long as she was back in one piece._

When he couldn't hold it anymore, Burke ripped off his scrubs cap and headed straight to his locker.

_How did Cristina manage to be sticking, while he was the first to walk away?_

Buttoning his shirt in rigidly, Burke shut his eyes.

_Not only wasn't he a hero, he too wasn't perfect. But with every little step they took together and apart, they were shaping each other's path, growing into better persons._

Excellence would always be a goal, but being ordinary and content was what Burke would settle for.

_As long as Cristina said yes._


	7. Intoxication

**Ch.7  
**Gone was the taste of toxin between the tip of Cristina's fingers, but the tension that had been building up in their apartment was enough to suffocate her.

Earlier that evening when she dragged her exhausted self home, Cristina's heart sank a little to find that Burke was not talking to her again.

_Was Burke mad at her for not giving an answer? Otherwise, why didn't he wait for her at the hospital the way he did in the past eight days?_

When she stepped out to make coffee, Burke silenced his eyes and unbuttoned the collar of his shirt, without looking at her.

When she brought her to the kitchen again for a snack, Burke rolled up his sleeves and stuck his chopsticks into the canton of noodles.

When she found herself standing behind Burke, yearning to rub his back that was soaked with sweat, he stood up to get a glass of water.

Whatever she tried to make him talk, it always ended up awkward silence. If she could just spill out that one word, she knew it would make a difference.

But no matter how many times the scene had been rehearsed in her head, when Cristina clasped her fingers above her stomach, with the ring beaming at the center, the residual of hesitation remained.

_She wasn't good enough for him, she wasn't good enough for life. But she knew he was what she wanted, and Ellis Grey had told her it's always worth a try._

Another night of chocking silence would drive Cristina to the wall. If they wanted to revisit the silence game, they still had a lifetime for that.

Springing up from the bed, her hand still tightly holding onto the ring, Cristina headed straight to where Burke was sitting.

The poor man's heart wasn't designed to take too many blows, but if Burke wasn't even looking away from the food he was blindly shoving down his throat, something drastic had to be said to catch his attention.

"I don't do rings." Eager to make it sound genuine, Cristina annunciated each word with complete seriousness.

In her unique way to showed that she had given the proposal a lot of thought, Cristina laid the ring on the tablecloth.

The quiet rattle of the ring on the kitchen counter clearly brought a twitch to Burke's eyebrows. The look was beyond sheer disappointment, something Cristina didn't intentionally induce.

_Burke might not be handling such a small disappointment well, but Cristina still had faith in him._

Without further delay, Cristina continued her potentially deplorable honesty about how she wouldn't suddenly change for him.

What Burke didn't seem to have caught, was the willingness to change embedded in her message—nothing soon or sudden, but change nonetheless.

Cristina's joke about hiring a wife bewildered Burke, but her fingers always worked magic.

Lacing her palm on his confusion-laden face, Cristina calmed the big boy in front of her as flawlessly as she gave Ellis Grey the carotid massage.

The stare Burke gave her was as penetrating as the uptightness steaming off his head. When he finally asked that question she had been anticipating all night, Cristina couldn't take her eyes off his handsome and mildly disturbed face.

The fact that Burke was looking at the table brought a smirk to Cristina's face.

Once the word flew through her mouth, Cristina could see how Burke was losing the game to conceal the mixed emotions surging through every feature on his face.

The way how he tried to contain himself by making up the rule of not letting her scrub in the day after only strengthened the deal that was going to be sealed.

The verbal exchange was so terse it didn't seem the least bit romantic, but by setting a certain boundary, they were breaking down each other's resolve.

_A man who could respect and accommodate her unique wit about life was the one Cristina could truly receive with open arms._

Leaping up to seize his prize, Burke uprooted Cristina from the ground and spanned her round and round.

In the midst of the primal scream of elation that echoed between the walls, they ripped the buttons and united their lips.

Together they were helping each other towards the finish line, to what people called the end.

But really there was no such thing as an end for the two of them, not even till the end of time.

Giggling and rocking wildly in the dark, they were clearly intoxicated by love—  
_Something that tasted better than the finest wine, and would never ever run dry._

THE END 


End file.
